Talk Dirty To Me: The Psychology of Dirty Talk

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Pair with a long-distance sex toy to really up the ante (might we suggest the We-Vibe Sync?). That’s why I’m going to [insert sexual activity] when you get home. Sean is the editor of Bad Girls Bible and responsible for recruiting our team of sex and relationship experts. And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.

How can I feel less awkward talking dirty?

As you can see, dirty talk fantasies are quite common—and there is a rich psychology behind them. It is also very likely that different people are drawn to dirty talk for very different reasons. Tell your partner how much you love certain things they do. This will help you get comfortable without diving too deep or too fast. Below are Lewis’ tips for becoming more comfortable with dirty talk and its benefits and prompts to get you started.

From Our Partner

Retracing history, so to speak, and adding embellishments where you see fit, can be just as hot as other kinds of dirty talk. As with anything sexual, a little build up can go a long way. I love receiving dirty messages from my partner when I’m out and about. This can be a sort of extended foreplay, in which you’re looking forward to what awaits you when you get home. Intimacy and playfulness needn’t always be confined to sex and sex alone. I think dirty talking sets the tone and gives a great emotional and mental headspace to say stuff you normally might feel too shy to say.

Talk About Desires and Fantasies

• The whispers, moans, and screams accompanied by dirty talk are all processed by the brain’s hearing center, including the temporal lobe, the frontal lobe, and the occipital lobe.
• “Or maybe she fantasizes about being the dominant one and is afraid to put that on to her guy to do it first, so she tests the waters.”
• Now imagine saying the same thing, “I’m so bummed that we’re on a plane, I really want to feel your lips on my pussy right now,” while slowly running your fingers up his inside leg.
• According to Callisto Adams, Ph.D., an author and the founder of the dating advice platform HeTexted, starting slow is key when you’re a beginner.

Could this explain why I like using blindfolds in bed so I can rely exclusively on my ears to carry me through to nirvana? Kink or not, sound can be a vital part of sex and incorporating even a touch of theatrics could go a long way. Committing sexual acts and talking dirty involve two completely different mindsets. Dirty talk is something we do by ourselves, as opposed to physical sex acts. This erotic dialogue, therefore, serves to unleash the interest in new sexual acts that might not usually be of interest. If you’re still looking for inspiration or just want to make your dirty talk even dirtier (I don’t blame ya!), there are plenty of erotic texts, apps, and other resources out there to help get your ideas flowing.

• That’s especially true when it comes to dirty talk, whether it’s done over the phone, sexting, or video chat.
• That way you can practice dirty talk phrases and test the waters of how kinky and sexy the two of you can get in the bedroom.
• “At first for most people who talk dirty, it ends up being very basic stuff like you know, ‘That feels good, keep going, don’t stop,'” says Marin.
• “You could even role-play dirty talk to get a feeling of what it’s like.

Dirty talk is any form of sexually charged or explicit speech that is intended to arouse and seduce someone. Within research it is also known as “erotic talk” or “sex talk” and it covers all communications that happen exclusively during sex and about sex. If you’re looking for ways to turn up the heat in the bedroom, dirty talk is a foolproof method. When done right it can get you more turned on and lead to more intimacy with a partner. But let’s be honest, it’s not about doing it right it’s about being comfortable with however it happens. However, while dirty talk can come naturally to some people, for a lot of us it can be super nerve-racking.

Your mind locks up because it thinks it’s unsafe to go where you’re going, and wants to protect you from messing up and ruining your partner’s positive image of you. A comment like that will probably push them over the edge and have them pouncing on you. I’ll walk you through the things to generally avoid, include, and steer clear of altogether, in order for you to dominate the world of dirty talk. And by speaking our sexual thoughts and fantasies aloud, we can engage the brain more deeply in the sexual act, making it that much more pleasurable. So, if it feels uncomfortable, pressured, or just not right, change your approach. Try to do it lighter, or don’t use particular triggers, or simply take a breather, talk it out, and then try it again.

For starters, dirty names are the perfect way to take a walk down the road of dirty talk. As you penetrate her, grab her and claw her, and say something dirty and sexy about each body part of hers that you touch with your hands. Or just call her a dirty slut and work with that as the minutes pass by. Stimulating the brain takes more than just saying the right words. One way to establish rapport is by asking the right questions to help you get to know each other. This helps establish the flow of conversation while also keeping you both engaged.